Aeon Flux

The following review has been rated R for strong violence, nudity, blood and gore. Viewer discretion is advised
Monday, April 03 2006 – 1237 hours – present

’’Excuse me … coming through …’’
Three 20 something guys rushed up the stairs, bumping into people as they went along …
’’Hey! Watch it!’’ someone yelled …
’’Sorry …’’
The three of them made their way up the stairs, into the strategically placed college library on the third floor of the building.
As they barged into the library, a few people looked up from the books they were reading – completely interrupted … until what had been a lazy monday morning.
The three scanned for the newspaper stands and rushed in that direction.
’’I’ll cover Express …’’ one of them yelled .. trying to keep his voice as low as possible.
’’I’ll take times’’, ’’and I’ll check out Herald’’ the other two pipped back .. as they made their way to the Newspaper stand.
Monday, April 03 2006 – 1235 hours – 2 minutes ago
’’Ma’am … would you be seeing our project today?’’ said one of them to their project guide.
’’Hmm … is it okay if I see it tomorrow? I am not feeling that well now’’ came the reply.
Monday, April 03 2006 – 1238 hours – present
’’Oye … V for Vendetta was at 10:30 … next is at 6:30 … wanna go ?’’ asked one.
’’Negative … we need to work in the evening … it has to be now …’’ came the reply
’’How about Aeon Flux? Its at 12:45 at Adlabs …’’
’’Hmm … hows the movie?’’
’’Supposed to be good. Its got Charlize Theron man … supposed to be a sci fi super hero kind of movie’’
’’Hey .. I read a review today. She’s supposed to be an assassin. Though the newspaper review wasn’t that great’’
’’Hey … we need to take a decision in 1 minute. Either we go now or then tomorrow’’
’’Ok .. lets do it …’’
’’I think we’ll take 10 mins to reach Adlabs if we take it via KP … what say?’’
’’Done …’’
’’Okay cool … lets do this’’
I’d like to bring to your attention here, that this is how bad decisions are made. I was unfortunate to be one of the ’’three’’
The Review, Finally
So in the next 10 minutes (if you’re still here), we were at Adlabs … comfortably seated.
The movie had just started – and all we had missed was the National Anthem and the opening two minutes.
Aeon Flux the movie, is a pretty much waste of time and money.
The movie, as the posters will blatantly read out … is all Charlize Theron.
So, from the first shot to the end, its Charlize all the way …
One shot of her close up, then a wider angle, then her eyes, then her telepathic vision, then she kicking butt, then she flying then she …. etc etc …
You might be wondering, but it’s Charlize you idiot ! Whats wrong with that?
I had thought the same thing too, but by the end of the film, with 100 bucks down (out of which 50 bucks was for a freakin coke !!!), I realised that even that wasn’t worth it.
Okay, back to the movie
The movie tries to be very slick (it being set 400 years in the future … so it has to be)
The movie is a mixture of (all the bad things) of all the previous Sci fi movies …
In the end, there is no ’’sci’’ in the ’’sci – fi’’
You’ll find traces of ’’The Island’’ (a lot of it), ’’I, Robot’’, ’’Minority Report’’, etc etc.
The Script … and the thing you call editing
Unfortunately, the movie does not have any of it.
Its like they hired Charlize Theron, got her an acrobatics trainer, gave her a tight suit and asked her to jump around while they shot her.
The editing is non existent, with shots following one another which have no connection between them …
Most of the plot is very masala hindi movie-ish … and with pretty ordinary acting, turns out to be very corny.
Till the end, every shot is very predictable … and you’re left wishing for something wacky to happen (like Charlize being the main mastermind villain or something) so that you could say .. ’’Woah .. never saw that coming’’ and probably losing 100 bucks wouldn’t sting that much …
But guess what? No such thing happens and by the end of the movie, when you step out of the theatre, you’re left wondering whether a law should be made to jail good actors for acting in crappy movies.
The background score was not noticeable … it had more or less the qualities a sci fi movie should have.
The two best parts of the movie were no doubt the interval and the end credits.
Please don’t go and watch the movie if your life depended on it.
Maybe if someone kidnapped a loved one and threatened to kill them if I didn’t watch it, then maybe I would consider going for it …

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